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04 April 2010 @ 11:08 am
Yesterday, was the one of the most devastating in my life. Black saturday, oh yes, it is indeed black. I started the day with a smile but ended it with tears of sadness. A heartbreaking news.

Tohoshinki Announced Activities Suspension

Being popular in Japan, South Korea boyband TVXQ on the 3rd announced through their management agency AVEX that they would suspend their activities in Japan. The label company will continue to support solo activities of all five members.

According to official officer, this decision is result from discussions among the members and staffs. “Each of 5 members decided to go and walk towards their own direction of dream.” he said.

When I read this, I was like...O_O. Oh my fucking gosh, I'm just dreaming right? This must be some kind of late  April Fools Joke. But then, seeing all my friends status on FB and all the GM's that I was receiving, confirmed that it wasn't .

I felt a hard sting of pain on my heart. My head suddenly felt heavy and it felt like the whole world collapsed. I felt weak, I can't even read and look properly the words on the screen. My mind became blank. I literally felt numb. Good thing, there weren't too many customers or else, I would be a total failure. I immediately went online in my YM account, my twitter account literally all my accounts. I almost went crazy. In just a matter of minutes thousands of Cassies are online and tweeting #alwayskeepthefaith. Even Masato Matsuura went online and had been flooded with many RTs about the news. And, I even RTd him. >.< I was so desperate yesterday, literally out of my mind.

He said...

I did everything I can. At the end of bitterness, I’ve decided to support my very best for their choice.


To them who are flying, if that is what they want I am planning to do everything I can. It doesn’t matter what position I’m in, my personal sadness is probably the same as the Tohoshinki fans

Okay, TVXQ members pursuing their own dreams..... O_O I felt depressed but then,I know that sooner or later it will all come to this. They've been working hard as a group and less that we fans think about their own individual dreams. It's about time that they pursue their goals. Though, how much it hurts, I accepted it. I cried, a lot but by doing that I know the pain will somehow be lessen and the heaviness of my internal being too.

As I cry, I thought about the days, that TVXQ and the fans shared. Sad times, happy times and even the dorky times. I reminisced all of it.

     Then as I woke up this morning, I felt quite relieved. After contemplating last night I have wholeheartedly accepted it all. Then, I read Eriko Kitagawa’s Blog post. She's really a good friend, a good writer and a good fan.


I know I have to write this.
Oh, this is just my personal matter, but I again found a negative comment concerning Jaejoong in the comment section.
So deep in my heart, I am thinking that I don’t want to write again.
But I will.
I’d feel frustrated with myself if I get licked by those little things.

I did not know of this situation.
I think I have also made my comment on my twitter before,
but I never spoke about the topic,
and he never spoke about it, too.
So I thought I’d leave it as it is.

And, our relations are rather new.

But for me, a person who played the leading role in my works cannot be thought as a stranger.
Mostly, the other person seems to think of the same.
So I was secretly worried about them.

I am sorry.
I am really sorry.
I really wanted to watch their performance in Tokyo Dome with everyone here.
When I went to watch B’z concert, I came to know that many following this blog have also gone to their concert.
I was very delighted.
If they (I cannot write down that 4 characters here) perform at the Tokyo Dome,
I will set my cellular phone so that I can write this ameblo blog from outside.
Then, we can share our information where we are right now
and, we can gather stream together.
I was thinking like this, with a serious mind.

Thank you for sending their CD to me.
I heard their songs, many times, during my break at work.

I understand all of your lonely and sad feelings. (I also thought that I could not live, when my favorite group OFF COURSE was in such situations.)
But I think that the happiness of the 5 members should be the most important.

Please forgive them.
Some may be thinking that
they ripped off your enjoys,
or that they were your lights.
Please forgive the 5.
I think that they are truly sorry for all of this.
(For those who do not want to hear these words from me, please do not read these sentences. I am sorry that I am being rather picky. I have gone through a lot of unpleasantness…)

I think that the 5 are the ones who are in the most pain.
(I have never talked about this with Jaejoong, though.)
I am imagining like this.
Even though they are the ones selected from god,
that person’s life is for himself.
Before being selected from god, he was a tiny little baby, born from his mother.
They are regular people.

Let’s support the future of the 5
with the feelings “Thank you for being the light of our lives”.
If you truly love them, and that you are saying that you will continue to love them.

I do not know whether or not they will be active as the 5 members again.
My only wish is that the young 5 people will be happy, and do their best in the future.

I am thinking.
Of Michael Jackson, who died though his was still young in age.
Do you think that it is completely a different story?

A person should not live for others.
A person should live for himself.
So, the most important thing should be; to think about their happiness.

This is my true feelings, from me, who have seen many artists.

I am praying for all of your health and happiness.

Source: Eriko Kitagawa’s Blog
Translation: smiley @ OneTVXQ.com
Credits: OneTVXQ.com { One World. One Red Ocean. One TVXQ! }
Feel free to repost, but please leave the full credits intact. Thanks!

What, she's actually telling here is in fact true. I know that each member do have their own dreams, dreams that they must fulfill for their self. Their world, does not ONLY revolve around as a member of TVXQ, but it also revolves around their OWN.  And I do believe, that one must fulfill his/her own goals in life in order to consider himself/herself to be worthy of his existence. JaeJoong, Yoochun, Junsu, Changmin and Yunho does not live for others' sake but for their OWN.

Thus, we fans should be happy for them because after all these years they can finally fulfill their own goals in life. Though how much it hurts that they will be on hiatus as a group still, we should support the members individual activities. Because, one day, once they have achieved their OWN goals, they will COME BACK and fulfill ours. Someday, we will see them again on stage with their smiling faces performing with all their heart. They love us fans and when time comes our love for them will be worth it.

Someday, we will see them again. The Gods, TVXQ, the best boyband to ever grace this planet.That had touched millions of hearts and inspired thousands. 

And, once again THE RED OCEAN will show it's marvelous existence to the world.Stronger, than ever and more solid than before. The greatest fandom that I had joined. Proud to be a TVXQ fan, 


03 April 2010 @ 12:21 pm

Oh yes, I feel like it's over ages since I last posted something here in spite of the fact that I'm always in front of the computer.
Oh well, I'm not really in the mood for writing or posting something here(busy with facebook;~:P).hehehe...I can't even update my fiction. Oh dang! My creative motors are stuck. Can't think of anything to write. ~_~

Anyways, I'm glad since it's already summer break and I have more time to relax, however for the first two weeks I've been tied at work. Oh geez my eyes are suffering but I must work or else I won't be able to buy what I want. And besides, I want to make this summer worth it.

These past few days, I've listening to Junsu''s solo song which is Rainy Night. Oh man, he's just too awesome, ALL OF THEM ARE AWESOME in their lives.

One of the reasons why I love TVXQ so much is that, when performing live they are so GOOD that it's even better than their recorded ones.
22 March 2010 @ 07:51 am
Oh my goodness! It's out,it's here! The PV for one of the best TVXQ Ballads I have ever heard! TOKI WO TOMETE!!!!~♥♥♥

Their voices are so damn BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<
It's so beautiful and it's making me cry. I miss them so much.... :(
The stars in the video reminds me so much of Cassiopeia...
When?? When will I see this read ocean again?
TVXQ! No matter how long I will wait for you. Because my true love for you will last eternally. ~♥♥♥

These five guys... that I have loved with all my heart.

~Their smiles that shines brightly that my velvet world suddenly became glorious.Their harmonization, so beautiful it reached and brought sound to my deafened soul.
How can these people change my total being? What hidden powers have they inflicted upon me and made me their fan.....their LOYAL FAN...their FRIEND....their FAMILY.
These questions until now remains unanswered. And only one thing is clear......I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART, MIND and SOUL.

02 March 2010 @ 09:46 am
Do you think a marriage license should have a renewal or expiration date, just like a driver's license?

Hahah..oh my this topic is just like what we had before in my journalism class. :p  Well, though I am born in a christian dominated country, I somehow do agree with marriage license having an expiration date. Why? Simply, if they don't want to be together anymore just wait for the expiration and no LARGE amount of money will be spent for divorce or annulment. JUST THAT.
01 March 2010 @ 09:28 am

Oh dang, finals is just around the corner and since it's the last period of the semester, I have to focus on it. It'll be like one last shot of me for my grades to get higher. ;) Just hoping that I could penetrate to the residential scholarship. XD
My fiction has been stagnant. I can't update for now, but once the semester has ended, I will. 

~ A lot of people were asking me why I started writing fictions. Hahaha, well, I started writing because I want to broaden my vocabulary and enhance my writing skills esp. grammar constructions. :p. So, any comments on my fictions regarding any grammatic errors are VERY MUCH WELCOME, I will really appreciate it. ^.^


Dang, after releasing succesfully the three albums of Tohoshinki, Mirotic live album, Mirotic Ver. C and Secret Code respectively. Universal Records, has announced that they will release Tohoshinki's Best Selection Album (2 versions,2CD+DVD and CD only.)
Oh my, I'm about to be bankrupt again. I can already hear my pocket screaming..XD LOL

Anyways, I'm going to buy it, heheh, I don't want to miss this ALBUM which contains beautiful songs and CLIPS. wwiiiii! This is a must have for a fan like me.

 Check it here!!! >>> http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jaejoongs-Witnesses/273804108208?ref=ts#!/album.php?aid=391386&id=214540185413&ref=nf
21 February 2010 @ 02:54 pm


I clasp his hands tighter as I said the word, "Goodbye". My vision of him slowly became blurred as tears flooded my eyes and started running down my cheeks. he looked at me, teary eyed and uttered feebly these words, "So, I guess it's the end then?, " his lips were trembling.
Realizing the message of his words, I slowly untightened the grasp, gently, smoothly. Jaejoong turned his back at me and walked away. I was then left alone. I closed my eyes and felt the bursting of nostalgia in my heart. But, I know we have done the right thing. Yes, we have done the right thing.


I sat on the sofa with my legs sprawled. I covered my face with both of my hands that are still trembling from what had just happened. I took a deep breath and told myself, " Yunho, I love you, but I guess this love wasn't meant to be at the very beginning. We did the right thing, breaking up is the only way we can preserve our group, our relationship, for you and for me." I uncovered my face and turned to look at the scorching embers of the fire place.  I started reminiscing the sweet days we were together  that I shall forever treasure and keep in my heart. In the process, tears started to flow once again, I closed my eyes. "It's the right thing, Yunho we have done the right thing," I told myself.


A loud uproar filled the entire place. People are screaming our names as we busily prepare for the performance at the backstage. I looked at Jaejoong who has been fixing his tie. I walked towards him and gave him a helping hand. There were no second thoughts and he gave way to my trembling hands and started fixing his tie. He looked at me conspicuously. I lift my head after fixing his tie and our eyes met.  My heart suddenly jumped as I saw my baby angel's eyes. There was longing and sadness but happiness prevailed.  A sudden urge to hug him imerge within me, my system craved for him but I tried my best not to let it triumph me. I know it has ended, "us" had ended.
"Thank you, Yunho," he said to me cutting our rapport by turning his face. " Welcome," I replied with a smile.


It was time, the show is about to start. Five of us went on stage and positioned ourselves for the performace that's about to start within a few minutes. The audience was getting wild and their screaming was deafening us but, it brought happiness, eternal happiness. Our fans, their support is what brought us here and we love them for that.
I looked at Yunho and he looked back. I smiled at him and he did too.
"Good luck," he shouted doing a two thumbs up.
" Same to you," I replied.
 Then, the curtains opened and signals the start of the performance. A new start for Yunho and me.
18 February 2010 @ 10:01 am
Do you have any hobbies, beliefs, or interests that you share exclusively on LiveJournal? How are your LiveJournal friends different from your offline friends?

Oh yes, I have. I made this livejournal accounts so I could have a place where I can post my fictions and spazz about my love for TVXQ. Most of my friends, rather, all of my friends here are a Kpop lover like me.  They are totally different from my offline friends because we are able to communicate freely here, unlike when I am away from the computer my friends don't have any idea of the things that I talk about especially kpop.
16 February 2010 @ 11:42 am

Oh goodness, TVXQ, has made me once again, CRY. My tears are continuously falling down me cheeks.
Blame this nostalgia to their two new songs "WITH AL MY HEART" and "TOKI WO TOMETE (Stop Time)".
It's so beautiful. Their angelic voices their harmony and the song itself is just so PERFECT.


14 February 2010 @ 10:55 am


Oh yes, I finally got my copy of TSC Album. ^_^ And, I bought it with my Unnie Moreen at SM Manila Odyssey branch. We have to go all the way there just to buy it, really, SM Valenzuela sucks; always left behind. ~_~
Anyways, I'm really glad that my unnie made the reservation which includes me. THANK YOU!♥
~ I had to wait for my class to end before we went there. I thought I was going to be the one who's late because I have to go home first after school but what happened was vice versa. hehehehe.. *get's bricked by unnie*. I was too early there. AMP! hahaha..my teacher dismissed the class earlier than expected.^__^
So while waiting for Unnie to arrive, I went to SM Val. Odyssey to check if they have the merchandise. Sadly, there have none of any shadow of TSC. Dang! Well, I had a short conversation with the guy there, I think he was the one incharge of arranging and ordering albums. He talked about why Kpop has been so popular nowadays and why we buy their albums...etc. Yeah, my explanations were kinda long so I won't post it here. hahah! Just one thing important I told him. We will make TVXQ number 1 here. OH YEAH!
So when, unnie arrived we went straight to SM Manila. It was fun being with my friend..like spazzing all over about DBSK...hahh!
When we arrived at Odyssey, first thing that we noticed was the TSC poster and Mirotic C poster in the window of the store.Hahah! After we bought the album, we CONFIDENTLY took pictures of ourselves with it. Hahah!

~Won't make this post long though so I'll just share some of our pictures.